My flaws...to be celebrated!

I have been looked upon like I am a perfect, got it all together , Miss Goodie Two Shoes. Even been called that once or twice.

HA!

Laugh is on YOU!

What you may see on the outside is definitely not what is happening on Inner Nikki.

So today I'm going to talk about what I believe to be a thorn in my side.

ANXIETY!!!!

Those who don't suffer with it have no idea how debilitating it is.

It makes you worry about things that may or may not even happen!!

For example!

I was supposed to have a state inspection for my daycare. BIG inspection. Got notice of it before Christmas that it would be in Jan. I stressed and stressed over it. Trying to prepare to make everything perfect. Well day of inspection came...and she cancelled. So all of that stressing was for nothing!!!

Another example:

I watched a Grey's Anatomy episode about a lady who had breast cancer. Well that ONE EPISODE got me convinced I had cancer. Stressed and stressed and had a mammogram and guess what...NO CANCER.

It can also keep you from TRYING new things!

And when something doesn't work out, it turns personal and you think you FAILED!

Also part of anxiety and what it does to your thinkin'!

Now, I'm NOT talking about being anxious about things that are normal. Anxiety can be part of life. But what I deal with is an anxiety DISORDER that is generalized and takes up every aspect of my life. I have to constantly tell myself POSITIVE things in order to counter the anxiety part of my brain.

BUT....

I will not allow anxiety to be a crutch or a reason I don't experience new things !!

I also have to realize just because my anxiety level goes up a notch or two, that doesn't mean to stop doing what is making me feel this way.

Sometimes we stay inside our comfort zones because it makes us feel uneasy.

That's when we need to push through because that is when PERSONAL GROWTH happens.

So, I just wanted my readers to know that I do NOT always have it all together. Sometimes I am feeling like my world is crumbling. But I just don't want it to go all over my social media. 

Hope this writing today helps someone. Even ONE person helped today means I did a good thing.

God Bless
Nikki Vilano